So You’re Gonna Be a Mommy…

“I found out I was pregnant on Halloween… biggest f*cking scare of your life!” 

It was November 2nd, 2017, and I had just finished pulling yet another 10-hour shift. As soon as I got off my best friend Kari called me, and put me on 3-way with our other best friend J’Chelle.

“Chelle has something to tell you,” Kari started off the conversation.

I don’t know why, but my mouth blurted out, “You’re pregnant!” Before my brain even had time to think.

A simple, “yeah” confirmed exactly what I’d spoken, but hadn’t yet processed. My heart fell to my ass as I’m sure hers did too the moment she found out.

I was scared, I was confused, I was nervous, and yet I was excited as hell! I knew my best friend would make the best mother regardless of how she felt at the moment. But, her feelings were valid. If I were feeling these whirlwind of emotions, I couldn’t even begin to image the chaos she was feeling.

As non-mothers, or even newly pregnant women, we see the fancy gender reveals, the elaborate baby showers, the cute maternity family photos, but we don’t really see or talk about the changes that a woman goes through during pregnancy and motherhood.

I sat down with my best friend, J’Chelle, and another young mother I know, Zana Wallace, and they opened up and shared the truth about the journey to motherhood.

So you’re gonna be a mommy…

KFM: How did you first find out you were pregnant?

J’CHELLE: Actually, my coworker told me. I was working at Publix and I smelled this man at the opposite end of the counter. I told my coworker he smelled like Black & Milds, but she couldn’t smell him so she didn’t believe me. It was only when he got closer that she smelled him too, and said I needed to take a test. I wasn’t tripping though, because I just had a period and no symptoms.

KFM: Did you take a test that day?

J’CHELLE: Yes, my lunch break was coming up, so we both decided to take a test. Hers came back negative—and mine positive! I thought it was a false positive, so I ended up taking 8 tests total. I found out I was pregnant on Halloween… biggest f*cking scare of your life!!”

KFM: Happy Halloween to you! What was the hardest transition for you after finding out you were pregnant?

J’CHELLE: Overcoming my mindset. Everyone around you is excited, but your thoughts are scary. The first trimester is very hard, you’re scared as hell and don’t know what to do. At first everyone was telling me an abortion was the best thing to do, but I always knew I didn’t want that.

KFM: What is one thing you wish people would’ve told you about pregnancy?

J’CHELLE: I wish someone would’ve told me your breast get huge…and about sh*tting. The constipation is real when you’re pregnant. Oh yeah, and peeing. Sometimes you pee on yourself. I remember when I first did it. I went to the bathroom and I kept smelling pee, I’m asking myself, “Why am I so pissy?” I called my doctor, though and he said it was normal. But, it would be on my conscious all day. I would ask my coworkers if I smelled like piss.

KFM: You’re hilarious. Do you have any weird cravings?

J’CHELLE: I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I like getting a cup of ice and pouring a Sprite in it. Then I drain the Sprite after it soaks in the ice a little bit and eat the ice.

KFM: So basically you’re just wasting a whole Sprite?

J’CHELLE: Pretty much, but I ain’t paying for it. If it was on my dime I’d be mad at my damn self.

KFM: *laughing* OK, let’s wrap this up. What advice would you give to young women who just found out they are pregnant?

J’CHELLE: Keep a level head. Early on I got some markers and paper from Walmart. On the far left I wrote down the issues I struggled with. On the right side I wrote down the positive side of my struggles and how I planned to better myself. In the middle I wrote down the things I’m going to do for my unborn child.

Know that you’re no longer responsible for yourself, but your child as well. Now you have to react to situations like an adult. People always say it’s going to be hard, but I don’t agree. It’s not the easiest [thing to do], but I don’t think it’s going to be the hardest either.

 

J’Chelle just recently found out she’s having a baby girl—she’s due July 3rd. Zana’s baby girl Zariah was born July 5, 2016. 

 

KFM: What was the most difficult part of your pregnancy?

ZANA: The most difficult part of my pregnancy was being able to sleep and get comfortable once I was in the last month of my pregnancy. It was very uncomfortable and I was ready to give Zariah an eviction notice.

KFM: *laughing* I can only image. Once you gave birth, what was the biggest adjustment for you?

ZANA: One of the biggest adjustments once I gave birth was prioritizing my time. Before I had Zariah I was always on the go doing this and that, and just living life freely. I’m glad she came when she did, because she became a priority in my life to help me slow down and get back on the right track.

KFM: What is one thing you wish someone would’ve told you about motherhood?

ZANA: My mother pretty much told me everything I needed to know, but if I had to say something I would say that people aren’t there for you like they say they will be. Not that I was expecting too much, because I have a great support system—a handful of best friends that have been there for me since birth.

KFM: What product did you fall in love with that you would recommend to other mothers?

ZANA: I loved Baby Aveena on Zariah’s skin. I never used Johnson and Johnson. She had eczema and that worked really well. For her hair I started off using Cantu for Kids around 3 months, and when she got about 6 months I started used Wild Growth Oil, Olive Oil Moisturizer, and Argon Oil Leave-in-Conditioner.

KFM: Lastly, what advice would you give to new mothers?

ZANA: Sleep when the baby sleeps!!!!! You better [sleep then] or else! Seriously, I still do it to this day and Zariah will be 2 in three more months. You will appreciate naps more than ever once you have kids, so whenever you have down time SLEEP.

My hope is that this post brings comfort to newly expecting mothers. I hope that it sparks a conversation within friendship circles of newly expecting mothers. You never truly know how  your friends are feeling or what they’re going through unless you ask. To all the new moms out there, I pray peace, blessings, and prosperity over your journey into and through motherhood.

Like, Comment, & even Share this post with a mom who needs to know what to expect when they’re expecting.

Peace, love, & good vibes…

xo, Kenya

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