Confidence is something we all struggle with, especially now. Your young adult years are where you really start to come into your own and that can definitely be a rocky journey. You feel trapped between that awkward stage of just graduating college, paying bills, looking for an actual career vs. a job, and juggling relationships (or the lack thereof). With the constant pressure from social media, we sometimes find ourselves comparing our lives to others thinking, “when will I come into myself?”, “why am I not as beautiful as she?” or everyone’s favorite line, “I wish my body looked like hers.”
GIRL STOP IT!
I’m by no means an expert in any area of life, but I have gone through quite a bit and learned a few tips and tricks along the way. My hope is that you take something away from this post that gears your thoughts and actions in the right direction.
Remember, it’s okay to feel awkward, it’s OK if you don’t have it all together yet. You will grow into yourself soon enough, TRUST ME.
But for now just enjoy your life and learn to love yourself along the way. You only get one shot at this! Get it right the first time.
It’s so cliche’, but I promise it works. You’d be surprised how many people enjoy seeing you smile. And not only does your smile affect others, it affects you as well. Whenever you’re feeling down try smiling for at least 10 seconds. I know that sounds absolutely dumb and you’ll be grinning like an idiot, but it’ll definitely pick up your mood. Try it right now. See, it worked didn’t it?
2. Sticky Notes
Write down your goals and daily affirmations on sticky notes and place them all around your house. The key to this is placing the notes in places that you pass frequently. By doing this you are subconsciously programming your brain to think positively and actively seek options to lead you closer to your goals.
3. Change Your Morning Routine
I begin each morning with a 30-minute motivational speech. While that might not work for you something else may. Try journaling within the first five minutes of waking up. Take time to write out what you want to accomplish for the day, and watch yourself manifest it.
4. Find Something You Love About Yourself
One of the best ways to secure your confidence is to find something you love about yourself and nurture it. Say for instance if you really like your smile wear a different color lipstick everyday. If you take pride in your hair (whether it’s yours or some bomb Brazilian, Malaysian or Cambodian) try a different hairstyle for each day of the week. Monday you might try a simple pony, Tuesday try wearing it curly. Changing up your look is a sure way to stay fresh and confident!
5. Guard Your Thoughts
The same way you wouldn’t eat food that is detrimental to your physical health, you should steer clear of thoughts that are detrimental to your mental health. It is very important how we exercise our brains. Read self-help books, listen to daily affirmations, and make a conscious effort surround yourself with positivity. Look in the mirror everyday and positively to yourself. I challenge you to face the mirror, look yourself in the eye and say, “Kenya [insert your own name of course], I love you. I love you so much!”
Everyone knows just how important this is, but sometimes we talk ourselves out of doing it. I cannot stress enough how much your well-being and health affects your attitude. After a great workout you feel hella good right…not only mentally, but physically as well. So get up and go work out even if you only dedicate 30 minutes out of your day to do so.
7. Surround Yourself with GOAL-Diggers
Your girl (or guy) tribe reflects what you think of yourself. Statistically speaking we are the four people we spend the most time with. So guess what, if you spend majority of your time with millionaire-minded, confident individuals you will more than likely become one as well. Cut the dead-weight and find some goal-oriented friends that push you to be the best version of yourself!
8. Reward Yourself
After a week of positive, more confident thinking take time to reward yourself. I always set goals for myself then pamper myself once reaching them. Sometimes I’ll treat myself to ice cream, other times I’ll buy new shoes, a new dress or new weave. (I’m not ashamed.) Take time to pamper yourself. When you look good, you feel even better.
9. Keep Your Head Up
Confidence isn’t just all internal, it’s external as well. You can tell yourself all day how beautiful you think you are, but it has to reflect on the outside as well. You know the saying, “shoulders back, show the rack” well honey, I live by that one. Not to flaunt my breasts or anything like that, but because confidence radiates off of you when you walk with your head held high. People can sense insecurity so if you walk in an insecure manner they’ll be able to tell. If you walk with confidence people will walk past you and think, “that girl is confident as hell!” and there’s nothing sexier than a confident woman.
10. Get Up, Dress Up, & Show Out!
One quote I live by is “look good, feel better.” When you take the time out to put on clothes, do your makeup, and style your hair you’ll be surprised how good you feel about yourself. It’s easy to throw on sweats or jeans and a t-shirt when you’re feeling down. But when you stop and take the time out to get yourself together your mood takes a complete 180. So next time you think about leaving the house looking bummish, turn around and snatch yourself together, baby!
Now that you have a few tools to conquering your self-esteem issues apply what you’ve learned and GO LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!
Peace, love, & good vibes…